20 Simple Ways to Regulate Right Now (Because Everything Else Depends on It)

You know that feeling when you snap at your kids over something small? Or when you can’t quite focus on the conversation your partner is trying to have with you? Or when you reach for your phone to scroll even though you know it won’t help?

That’s not a character flaw. That’s your nervous system sending up a flare.

Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: keeping our nervous systems regulated isn’t self-care in the bubble-bath sense. It’s foundational maintenance. It’s the difference between responding and reacting. Between being present and being overwhelmed. Between clear thinking and fog.

And here’s the thing — when you’re regulated, everyone around you benefits. Your kids get a parent who can stay calm during meltdowns. Your partner gets someone who can actually hear them. Your community gets your best thinking, not your frazzled reactivity. In fact, your regulated nervous system helps others regulate. This isn’t selfish. It’s responsible.

So we’ve made you a list — because when you’re dysregulated, it’s nearly impossible to remember what might help. Print this. Keep it somewhere visible. Use it as a gentle reminder to prioritize yourself. 

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ONE MINUTE
When you literally only have sixty seconds:

1.The physiological sigh. Two quick inhales through your nose (the second one tops off your lungs), then a long, slow exhale through your mouth. Do this 2-3 times. This literally shifts your nervous system from sympathetic (fight/flight) to parasympathetic (rest/digest). It’s not woo — it’s neuroscience.

2. Name what you see. Look around and silently name five things you can see. This interrupts the stress loop and brings you into the present moment. Simple, effective, grounding.

3. Cold water on your wrists. Run cold water over the insides of your wrists for 30 seconds. The temperature change activates your vagus nerve and can quickly downshift activation.

4. Hum or sing. Any tune. Any volume. The vibration stimulates your vagus nerve, which helps regulate your nervous system. This is why humming while cooking or singing in the car can feel so settling.

5. Feet on the floor. Press your feet firmly into the ground. Notice the sensation. Press harder. This simple proprioceptive input tells your nervous system: I am here. I am safe. I am supported.

6. The “voo” sound. Take a deep breath and exhale while making a low “vooooo” sound. The vibration combined with the slow exhale is deeply calming. Do it three times. You can follow Lisabeth’s guided practice here.

7. Shake it out — or dance it out! Literally shake your hands, arms, and shoulders for 30 seconds. Animals do this instinctively after a stressful encounter to discharge the activation. We can too. You can also turn up your favorite dance mix and let loose that way! Whatever works.

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THREE TO FIVE MINUTES
When you have a few minutes to reset:

8. Step outside barefoot. Grass, dirt, concrete — it doesn’t matter. The direct contact with the earth (called “grounding” or “earthing”) has measurable effects on cortisol levels and inflammation. Plus, you’re outside, which helps too.

9. Butterfly hug. Cross your arms over your chest, hands on opposite shoulders. Gently tap alternating sides — left, right, left, right — at whatever pace feels soothing. This bilateral stimulation is used in trauma therapy for a reason.

10. Write it out. Three minutes of stream-of-consciousness writing. Don’t edit, don’t judge, just let it flow onto the page (or in an email draft!). Getting it out of your head and onto paper creates space. Not sure where to start? Check out our Journal Prompts blog post to help get you started.

11. The 4-7-8 breath. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Repeat 4 times. This ratio specifically activates the parasympathetic nervous system. It’s like a reset button. Follow a guided session of this breathwork practice here.

12. Listen to one song with your full attention. Not as background. Actively listen. Let yourself feel whatever comes up. Music engages multiple brain regions and can shift your state remarkably quickly.

13. Gentle self-massage. Massage your temples, your jaw, behind your ears, the back of your neck. We hold so much tension in these places. Touch is regulating.

14. Look at something growing. A plant, a tree, anything alive. Really look at it. Notice the details. Nature — even a houseplant — reminds your nervous system that not everything is urgent.

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TEN TO FIFTEEN MINUTES
When you have a bit more time:

15. Walk, even just around the block. The bilateral movement of walking is inherently regulating. No headphones, no podcast — just you and your body moving through space. Notice your breath, your feet, the air.

16. Sit Spot + Body scan. Lie down or sit comfortably. Starting at your toes, bring your attention to each part of your body, moving slowly upward. Where are you holding tension? Can you soften there? This practice builds interoception — your ability to sense what’s happening inside you. A great place to do this is with your own personal Sit Spot. You can learn more about Sit Spots here. While you’re there, be sure to listen to the original Martin & Sylvia audio story “Sit Spot” from the Anxiety Tea collection. 

17. Make yourself tea (the whole ritual). Boil the water. Choose the cup. Watch the tea steep. Hold the warm mug. Drink it slowly. The ritual matters as much as the beverage.

18. Gentle stretching or yoga. Nothing intense. Just slow, mindful movement that helps you feel your body. Child’s pose, cat-cow, gentle twists. Movement is medicine for the nervous system.

19. Call someone who helps you feel seen. Not to vent (unless that’s what you need), but for connection. Co-regulation is real — being in the presence (even virtual) of a regulated, attuned person helps regulate your own system.

20. Rest. Literally just rest. Lie down. Set a timer. Don’t scroll. Don’t plan. Don’t optimize. Just be horizontal and let your system settle. Rest is not earned — it’s required.

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Why This Matters

Your nervous system is the operating system for everything else in your life. When it’s dysregulated, your immune function drops, your digestion falters, your sleep suffers, your patience evaporates, and your ability to think clearly and creatively plummets.

But when it’s regulated? You can access patience you didn’t know you had. You can hold space for big feelings — yours and others’. You can think more clearly. You can be more creative. You can show up as the person you want to be.

This isn’t about being perfect. Your nervous system will get activated — that’s part of being human. The work is in learning to recognize when you’re dysregulated and having tools to help yourself find your way back.

These 20 practices aren’t a to-do list. They’re a menu. Try what calls to you. Notice what helps. Come back to this when you’re frazzled and can’t remember what to do.

Because here’s the truth: taking care of your nervous system isn’t selfish. It’s how you take care of everyone and everything that depends on you being able to think clearly, respond (not react), and stay grounded in the middle of the chaos.

It’s not a luxury. It’s your responsibility. And that’s something worth protecting.

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Looking for more ways to regulate your nervous system? Check out our Meditations & Practices to Soothe Collection. We also have an entire topic on Calm, containing 11 different collections with calming stories in each.

Not yet a subscriber? Start a free trial HERE.

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This blog post was a collaborative effort from the Sparkle Team. It was reformatted slightly with the help of Claude.ai

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