FOR SUPERPARENTS: You Don’t Need a Cape. You Need a Nap.

It’s 4:47 pm. You have found the missing shoe, discovered the healthy snack that makes them both do a happy food dance, and settled the question as to whether a shadow counts as “touching you.” Plus you’ve walked the dog (twice), figured out what can be made for dinner with what’s left in the fridge, sang “Baby Shark” about 40 times to get the dishes done, and finished the proposal for the new, exciting client.

You have handled it all.

Sound familiar?

Sparkle is really into superheroes. Our How To Be Super stories are full of ordinary people — a dad, a schoolteacher, a kid down the street — who discover they’ve had powers in them the whole time. We wrote these stories for all of us, grown-ups and kids alike.

But there’s a part of the superhero story we don’t talk about enough: the secret identity.

Every superhero has one. Somewhere under the cape is a person who goes home at the end of the day, takes off the boots, and simply exist for a while. Not saving anyone. Not being anyone’s anything. (Think: Clark Kent watering his plants.)

As we made our way into parenthood, a lot of us absorbed the idea that the goal is to never need down time. We’ve come to believe that good parenting means staying “on” indefinitely: endlessly patient, endlessly available, endlessly resourceful about creative dinner solutions and shadow disputes.

That’s not a superpower. That’s a recipe for exhaustion.

The part we keep forgetting to teach ourselves

We’ve written before about rest as a weekly rhythm, a Day of Rest, building regular time each week. I hear the same refrain over and over, from Sparkle Parents and my own friends over the years: I know I’m supposed to rest. I just don’t know how to let myself.

I think that’s the real block. It’s not a lack of time. It’s permission.

Kids don’t actually need us to be endlessly present. They need us to be authentic and adult: authentically alive, patiently boundaried, and, occasionally, truly off-duty.

Kids learn more from what we do than what we say. They learn from watching us rest. It teaches them that people have limits, that limits aren’t failures, and that taking care of yourself isn’t something you earn after everyone else is taken care of. It’s part of the job, not a reward for finishing it.

Small ways to take off your SuperParent cape

You don’t need a weekend away (though please also plan those). Most days, it looks smaller than that:

• Sit in the car for two extra minutes after you park, doing absolutely nothing.
• Spend an extra five minutes in the shower or a hot bath, and tell them you’ll be out soon! 
• Ask your spouse to watch the kids and take yourself on a solo walk around the block or through the park — or simply go outside and let the sun hit your face! It’ll help more than you know. 
• Walk into the bathroom. Lock the door. Sit down and breathe deeply for five minutes. Sometimes that’s all you need for a little reset and you-time. 
• Take the kids to an indoor play space and let them run their sillies out in a safe, contained environment while you get some uninterrupted you-time. 
• Say “I’m resting right now” out loud to your kids, with no apology folded into it.

That last one matters more than it sounds like it should. Saying it plainly, instead of sneaking off guiltily, is important. (For more ideas, see our post here)

Important note for the extra-stressed

If we are ramped up with stress (aka: living in fight-or-flight) and our nervous system is dysregulated, it’s hard to rest. We’re like the overstimulated child who can’t calm down, and we need to address that first. 

So if that sounds like you, you might not be able to do any of the above! You might need to care for your nervous system first. Start with these tools.

And don’t just do them once! Make them a practice and bring yourself back to yourself so you can actually enjoy the break.

Let the story do the work

This is where we come in! Part of why we build these stories is so you can hand the room to someone else for twenty minutes: to Martin and Sylvia, to a fairy in a garden, to a kid on the other side of the world having an adventure of their own. You’re allowed to bring your attention back to yourself, and the kiddos will be in good hands while you’re relaxing.

The cape will still be there. It’s a superpower to acknowledge when to set it down and trust that the home — and the kids in it — will hold together for the ten minutes it takes to catch your breath.

Here’s are a few good playlists to throw on for some well-earned rest-time:

Stories to Help You Find Peace and Quiet

Our Most Restful Stories

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