Put the Costume On, Grown-Ups: A Case for Costumes at Any Age

Last Halloween, my husband and I were pirates. Our son Ollie was a pirate too, so we had a whole crew. And my mother-in-law showed up as Edward Scissorhands, which meant that at some point in the evening, a very dignified British woman was snipping the air at the neighbors and absolutely nobody was confused about who she was supposed to be. It was a hoot!

It was one of my favorite nights of the year. I don’t think that’s because of the candy.

Here’s what I noticed. When a kid dresses up and the grown-ups wear regular coats, the kid is playing while the adults supervise. But when the parent is wearing an eye patch and talking like a pirate, the kid isn’t playing alone anymore. They’ve got company. Someone else is standing in the story with them.

Children don’t just want us nearby. They want us in it.

And it isn’t only for them. A costume is a small permission slip. For a few hours, you’re not the person with the to-do list and the half-folded laundry. You’re a pirate. You’re a pair of scissor hands. You don’t have to be good at it, either. The silliest commitment is always the best one.

Wonder works like this, I think. It doesn’t usually arrive on its own. Somebody has to open the door a crack, and often that somebody is a grown-up willing to look a little ridiculous. When we go all the way in, kids follow — and suddenly the front porch is a ship and the sidewalk is open sea. Wonder wears a costume, and it turns out that costume fits adults, too.

Clothes already change how we feel, by the way. Think of the shoes you put on for an important meeting, or the sweater you save for a good day. A costume is just that idea, turned up loud.

This year, I’m going as a shark. A big one. It’s a full grey suit, equipped with shark head (TBD on how I will manage doorways in it…) Ollie is 6 and Kaia is 4, and neither of them has seen it yet. I’m envisioning the reveal. I’m also wondering how I’ll carry a pumpkin bucket with fins for arms, but I’ve decided that’s part of the fun.

If you’ve been on the fence about dressing up this year, consider this your nudge. You don’t need a full production. A hat counts. Ears count. A cape made from a bedsheet counts most of all. Just show up in it and let your kids see you play.

If you’d like a little company on the way there, we have a story that’s just right for your pondering time. In Martin & Sylvia: Dress Up, Part One: Grown-Up Costumes, Brother and Sister notice Daddy taking an extra-long time to get dressed for a very big meeting, and it gets them wondering what clothes might inspire their own adventures. It’s free to listen to, and there’s a Part Two in the collection when you’re ready for more.

Your kids will remember the costume long after the candy is gone. Mine will be remembering a shark.

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